A Letter to My Community
What Now? Caring for Ourselves in the Aftermath of the Election Dear Community, As we grapple with the outcome of the 2024 presidential election, many of us are processing complex feelings of confusion, grief, frustration, disappointment, anxiety, and anger. Now, more than ever, it’s essential to hold space for these emotions, both personally and within our communities. This
Mindfulness Baskets: A Simple Tool to Ease the Spirit
What is a Mindfulness Basket? Mindfulness, Calming, or Calm Down Baskets are boxes, containers, or baskets that hold various items that are used for calming and regulating. The basket is a tool that helps with grounding and relaxation, so it can be used as a regular mindfulness practice. It’s also particularly helpful with soothing upset feelings. How
Seven Steps to Strengthen Sibling Connection
My father lectured my brothers and me about sibling rivalry when we were kids. It was a formal talk at the dining room table. I don’t remember much of that conversation but as I reflect on my childhood, that single discourse stands out to me as the only support that I remember receiving regarding my sibling relationships.
“How Do I Get My Kids to Behave?”
As a family therapist, I’ve been asked some version of this question many times throughout the years. Sometimes it’s framed as a request for tools, strategies, “tips and tricks,” or general methods for eliciting cooperation; sometimes it’s a plea for help. Sixteen years ago, when I began working with children and families, the predominant approach to parenting
What Is Mindful Parenting?
I started this blog in March to share resources as we began the process of adjusting to extraordinary life circumstances. With so much uncertainty in the world these past three months, my blog posts have been focused on building resilience, managing stress, and most recently, compassionate allyship. This project became a tangible way for me to be
The Practice of Imperfect Allyship
The last three weeks have been crushing and heartbreaking as the trauma of racism has once again been exposed in our collective consciousness. Still in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, millions of people across the United States and around the world have been engaging in civil rights protests to support Black Lives Matter and to speak
Talking with Kids about the Protests
One of my primary parenting goals is to raise conscious humans. I teach my kids about cultural competence and to stand up for what’s right. We talk as a family about race, gender, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic issues and how we think about the evolution of our worldviews. A guiding principle of their education is that understanding and
Project Lemonade: Part Two—What We Make
I’ve been trying to get a bird’s-eye view of the last three months. With so much to process, it can be disorienting. Closer to the ground, the earth is shaking and shifting beneath our feet. Everyone is grappling with a wide range of intense emotions that get more and more complex. COVID-19 has been dominating and devastating our
Project Lemonade: Part One—What Life Gives
I woke up this morning feeling the weight of the knowledge that quarantine directives are being modified and extended through the summer. Many of us are asking ourselves, how will we get through this next phase of the crisis? For me, the answer came quickly: We’ll get through it like we get through everything in life, one day
Managing Stress in Close Quarters: Part Two
We’re in the ninth week of sheltering in place. As family members continue to work and learn at home together, trying to meet individual and family needs while navigating a range of emotions, it’s important to continue practicing strategies that reduce stress and overwhelm. In Managing Stress in Close Quarters: Part One, I wrote about simplifying routines, maintaining
Managing Stress in Close Quarters: Part One
We’re in the eighth week of sheltering in place. Families are appreciating more time together, and they’re also experiencing increasing tension, frustration, and irritability. In this time of crisis, loss, and uncertainty, we are experiencing a range of feelings as individuals, as families, and, of course, collectively as well. This turmoil is to be expected. Our emotional responses
Supporting Teens and Tweens through the Pandemic
Many teens and tweens are rightly worried about the economic, social, and health-related dangers associated with the novel coronavirus. For some, the impacts are clear and concrete: someone they know has contracted COVID-19 or saw her job disappear overnight. For others, the risks seem abstract, as sickness or financial distress loom only on a distant horizon. Either way,
Part Four in the Resilience-Building Series: Grounding
What is Grounding? Grounding, centering, calming, soothing. These words are often used interchangeably. Grounding, though, is about noticing how your body connects to and is supported by the ground beneath it. When I teach this tool to clients, I often say that grounding is about bringing a sense of yourself into the present moment, through your connection to
Part Three in the Resilience-Building Series: Resourcing
What is a Resource and Why is It Important? Last week, I shared the idea of using sensory tools to bring balance back to the nervous system. This week, I’m going to share a tool called resourcing that I first encountered during my Trauma Resiliency Model certification. A resource is anything that brings a sense of calm, peace,
Part Two in the Resilience-Building Series: Sensory Tools
What are Sensory Tools and Why are they Helpful? Sensory tools refer to using your five senses to regulate, or bring balance to, the nervous system. Regulating the nervous system is also referred to as grounding. Using these tools helps to build resilience. Last week I talked about turning inward and scanning the body as a way to
Part One in the Resilience-Building Series: Tracking the Nervous System
Did you know that we can increase resilience in our nervous systems? I’ve said to clients this week that we should look at this current crisis as a marathon and not a sprint. I know that may sound discouraging. What I mean is that we need to pace ourselves. If our nervous systems are ramped up to ten
Advice to Parents from Veteran Homeschoolers
This past week, I reached out to my local homeschooling community for words of support and wisdom to offer to all of the parents who have suddenly and unexpectedly found themselves thrust into the world of homeschooling. I received over 50 incredibly thoughtful responses and I've organized their collective wisdom into two main themes: Social/Emotional and Logistical.
Learning at Home? How to Make the Best of School Closures
Many of my clients have asked me about the best way to begin homeschooling. As someone who has been homeschooling my own kids for the past five years, here’s what works for my family, and what I recommend to my clients. 1. Create a loose and flexible schedule. The simplest way to do this is to divide the